The other day I took a walk in the park, as I sat on the bench enjoying the cool breeze, I observed people from diverse backgrounds. I couldn’t help but judge them on how they looked and what they were doing. Often times we find ourselves judging other people on how they walk, eat, dress, where they live, their mannerisms, who they date, their career choices and/or political views.
At the end of the day we all judge. But is judging really wrong? Is it always wrong to make or pass judgment?
The Oxford English dictionary describes judgement as: ‘The ability to make considered decisions or come to sensible conclusions.’
Going on this dictionary meaning of the word, it is apparent that to properly function in life judgment calls have to be made.
Every single day we find ourselves judging far and wide. I’m not saying it is wrong. There are some judgements that need to be made, good judgement that preclude you from danger.
We are compassionate beings
In her book Judgement Detox Gabby Bernstein describes judgement as: The moment we see ourselves as separate from anyone else, we detour into a false belief system that is out of alignment with our true nature, which is love. Deep down we are all loving, kind, and compassionate beings. When we see the world through the lens of specialness, the dark cloud of judgment blocks us from our light and connection to others.
Be that as it may, Gabby Bernstein’s views on judgement are seen from rose coated glasses. Truth of the matter is, in as much as we all want to be nice, we must be true to ourselves.
There are certain things that we do not like and certain people that we do not like and that is based on a judgement that we have made of them. Sometimes what influences that judgement may be flawed, however that judgement remains what we hold until proven otherwise. Not expressing our convictions either takes great pretence or great discipline not to show our true feelings. This is not to be mistaken with prejudiced views or stereotyping. Judgement should be based on something that you know, factual information rather than here say.
We all judge
Most of us struggle not to pass judgement on others each day. We judge other people’s parenting skills. I know I have judged the girl moving too slowly in the queue ahead of me. We judge people wearing tight clothes and we even judge people who wear baggy clothes. Truth of the matter is, we judge everything and everyone that is not like us. When we find those, who try to be like us, we judge them for trying to be like us.
So, I ask the question again, is judging wrong? What type of judging is right and what type of judging is wrong? Anything that is demeaning to others, anything that reduces or belittles the other, if passed as judgment is wrong. However, when you look at yourself and judge yourself in order to improve yourself, commonly referred to as self-introspection, or self-reflection or self-evaluation, is not necessarily a bad thing. It is in fact good and is recommended if one needs to improve. Young people these days talk about having haters. But if you look at it closely those that are categorised as haters are being judged for judging or critiquing. Truth of the matter is without critiques we do not challenge ourselves to improve. Therefore these are necessary ingredients in our journey of self-development and improvement.
We are each influenced by different backgrounds and unique upbringing. The values that nurtured us also differ, however not all of us understand this. This is where cultural diversity comes into play. When we start to appreciate our differences, we become less judgmental. What is right for me is not always right for the other. What I personally like, is not the personal choice of the other. Having said that, we can never stop people from judging us and we can never find the off-switch button in ourselves to stop us from judging others. The important thing is not to offend others.
Feel free to judge my article in the comments section below.
This article was originally published @ www.girlcode101.com
Tshidz Pongo is a life coach, Educator, entrepreneur and writer.